At A Glance: Our Top 4 Picks for Prostate Massagers
Nexus Revo 2
Nexus Revo Slim
Nuo by Je Joue
Once you’ve reached the level of sexuality where you play with prostate massagers, there is no turning back. Usually, what starts out as an adventurous experiment ends up being a way of life. After all, there’s nothing quite like an orgasm from the inside out. Some of you guys know exactly what I’m talking about.
Fortunately, there’s a prostate massager out there for everybody. On the flip side, however, rummaging through all those options without a clue as to what you should be looking for, well, that can be a real pain in the ass (literally). Lay your weary head to rest, boys. I have a solution.
NOTE #1: The solution I came up with requires a little homework on your part. As hard as I try, I still can’t determine the ideal sex toy for someone else. But just for shits and giggles, let’s use the following buyer’s guide to point us in the right direction, shall we?
Why Is It Important to Shop Around, Read Our Reviews & Look For The Top Rated Prostate Massager On The Market?
It’s impossible to select the best prostate massager when you don’t really know what a prostate massager is, and it’s even harder to use one if you have no clue what you’re doing. There is no knowledge that isn’t power, they say, so why would knowledge about your sex toys be any different? The only way to achieve a decent O-face with your favorite plaything is to know it like the back of your hand.
With that said, understanding the difference between a prostate massager and your standard butt plug is important. All too often, misguided fellas get things mixed up. It’s time we stopped the madness.
- Prostate Massagers
A majority of prostate massagers look and function similarly, with a few exceptions on either end of the spectrum. Typically, prostate massagers are curve-shaped to easily stimulate the p-spot, and many of them come with perineum stimulators or attached cock rings as well.
The two main differences between a prostate massager and a standard butt plug are usually the shape and functionality of the toy, as most butt plugs are conical shaped instead of curved and many of them don’t vibrate, rotate, or otherwise.
- Butt Plugs
Your typical butt plug is a simple tool, most often used to simulate anal sex or aid in sexual dominance play. Butt plugs aren’t often used to stimulate the prostate or perineum, although I suppose either one is possible with the right technique. More suitable for ass play pros, butt plugs aren’t as fancy as prostate massagers but they can be just as fun.
NOTE #2: Anal beads and other non-vibrating anal toys also fall into this category.
Now that you’ve successfully graduated from Prostate Massagers 101, we can move on to the heavier stuff: which features you should look for in order to track down the perfect prostate massager before your wallet and asshole start a riot.
Five Features to Fall For When Choosing The Best Prostate Massager (Stimulator)
If you believe that all prostate massagers are the same, you’d only be halfway right. Yes, many of the models look and behave alike, but that doesn’t mean there are no major differences. The first time you go cramming any ole prostate massager into your anus without first considering its features, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about.
So, instead of selecting your next toy based on its creative marketing, its brand name, or its attractive packaging, why not pick it out based on the shit that really matters? I’ve compiled a concise yet comprehensive 5-point checklist of the things you should be keeping an eye out for when shopping for a decent prostate plaything. Don’t worry; you can thank me later.
- The Girth of Your Worth (Size)
Some say that size isn’t a big deal, but they’re just trying to be nice. Whether we’re talking about the size of a bank account, a set of tits, or a sex toy, measurements matter. First things first, check out the size of the prostate massager you’re looking at. Smaller ones are more ideal for newbies, while larger models are great for guys who’ve been around the block a few times.
- The Angle of Your Dangle (Shape)
Prostate massagers are famous for having some rather peculiar shapes, from round and bulbous to thin and hooked. Since it’s damn near impossible to know exactly where your p-spot is until you find it a few times, selecting a prostate massager based solely on its shape is a bad idea. Still, you should at least consider the form. I mean, come on, the angle of your dangle is unlike anyone else’s. Why, then, should you opt for a one-size-fits-all sex toy?
- The Motion in Your Ocean (Functions)
Sometimes, the functionality of a prostate massager can make up for its otherwise disappointing form. Rotating heads, vibrating motors, and gyrating shafts generate a pretty good time if you use them right. And when those same functions work independently on an attached perineum massager or cock ring, hold your horses, cowboys. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the functionality of a prostate massager is a bit more important than its physical attributes, but I suppose that’s all a matter of preference and experience.
- The Cover of Your Lover (Material)
We’re living in a material world and I am a material girl boy. The only thing that means is that I have to worry about the materials with which my sex toys are made and so should you. A few manufacturers out there have produced some rather questionable shit. I, for one, won’t have my asshole paying the price for it. Instead, I stay away from latex and phthalates by purchasing prostate massagers made from silicone or TPE only. You have to use water-based lube all the time, but that’s the best stuff anyway, plus you never have to explain away a nasty rash on your balls from a mysterious “allergic reaction.”
- The Squeak to Your Freak (Maintenance)
Considering the fact that these prostate massagers are made solely to go up your ass, the toy’s user-friendliness and ease of maintenance are vital. Do you need a special cleaning solution, or can your new plaything simply be rinsed off with some warm water and soap? Will your prostate massager catch fire if it comes near moisture or can you bring it into the shower with you? Don’t ask these questions after you bust open the box. Ask them now.
Some Other Shit That Also Matters When Shopping For Top Rated Prostate Stimulators
While the price of any prostate massager is bound to sway your decision one way or another, you can’t worry too much about the cost until you’ve given due consideration to the rest of this list. Also, be sure to check out the toy’s power source while you’re at it – electrical, battery-powered, rechargeable, etc. Rechargeable toys are cheaper to operate and often more convenient, but battery-powered and electrical toys have zero wait time and are more ideal for longer sex sessions.
One more thing: see if your favorite prostate massager is compatible with any other toys on the market. Some of the more innovative manufacturers have created entire collections of compatible, interchangeable sex toys for men, women, and couples, with Bluetooth connectivity, VR content, and apps for your smart device. Oh, what a wonderful time to be alive.
Despite the fact that John James is quite the character, there is one thing he has in common with everyone else: he likes a high quality sex toy just as much as the next guy.
Noticing that there were no legitimate websites out there reviewing all the amazing synthetic vaginas on the market, John James set out to do something about it.
After all, it is painfully obvious that today’s men really need to know more about their options.